"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured
out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." -Romans 5:1-5
I recently watched The 5th Quarter, which is based on the true story of a loving, Christian family hit with a terrible loss and their journey to recovering. While there have been several movies dealing with this subject, I found this one to be a little more closer to home. In the last 5 years, my family has suffered many losses, yet one has always stood apart from the others.
This year marks the 5th anniversary, and I find myself thinking about life, God, heaven and loss. I remember getting the call with the news after leaving my dorm wing's bible study and wondering how this could happen. I'm ashamed to say that my faith was truly tested and my trust in God shaken. I could not understand how someone my age, who I grew up with, could be taken away so quickly. How someone's life just ends before it had really begun. Yet deep down, I knew that God had a reason for my family to go through this, and would help us move on.
Grief is felt and handled in different ways for everyone. Some use distractions and try to keep busy to feel better, while others crawl into a shell and forget how to live. I have never handled grief well. My heart takes in every single emotion and feeling I have as well as everyone around me and holds it in. I can't ever fully let it go. I don't forget how to live, but I also can't seem to find the motivation to live it. It took me a long time to push through my depression and pain so I could find God again and feel peace. If I were to be completely honest, I don't think I have ever fully moved on from what happened and I'm not sure I ever will. That being said, I know I'm going to be okay, because God has given me peace, love and the strength to move on.
Last month, I made the decision to spend a week in Colorado with my brother, uncle and aunt. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It was my first flight alone, and the first flight I'd been on since I was 14. I was scared getting on the plane, but every second of that trip was worth it! Since returning home, I have been thinking a lot about my life, where I am at, and I realized that I'm truly not happy. I need a real change, a chance to try something new, something I can be proud of. I pray for the courage to take that chance and make my family, God and myself proud.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my
goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took
hold of me. Brothers
and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But
one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is
ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 3:12-14
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Amazing Grace
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me..." My favorite hymn since the first moment I can remember hearing it. Since we are coming upon Easter, a time of rejoicing, reflection and humbleness for all who know our Savior, I thought I'd share my favorite song. This version is a little different than the original hymn, but I think the same message carries:
"When we've been there ten thousand years. Bright, shining as the sun. We've no less days to sing God's praise, then when we'd first begun." -The final verse of the song. I think it reminds us that God's Love and Guidance for us are never fading. It will always be there, whether it be the day we give our whole hearts to him or long after we have left this earth and joined him in heaven. There are no certain number of days to give God praise. It was happening long before we were born and always will be. His Grace, Love and Mercy are always present.
These two well known verses are ones I learned at a young age, and I will carry them with me always:
"When we've been there ten thousand years. Bright, shining as the sun. We've no less days to sing God's praise, then when we'd first begun." -The final verse of the song. I think it reminds us that God's Love and Guidance for us are never fading. It will always be there, whether it be the day we give our whole hearts to him or long after we have left this earth and joined him in heaven. There are no certain number of days to give God praise. It was happening long before we were born and always will be. His Grace, Love and Mercy are always present.
These two well known verses are ones I learned at a young age, and I will carry them with me always:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." -John 3:16-17
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Change
It's been a really long time since I've written on this blog. Not that I haven't wanted to, I just really haven't figured out what to say or write about.
I was reading over my last posts, especially the most recent, trying to see how much my life has changed since then. In some areas it has, but most is still the same. Most of what I wrote in my last post still applies today, so I keep asking myself the same questions; What can I do to change things? Will I have the strength, confidence and courage to change them?
I was spending time with my parents one evening, and we were having a discussion about my brother's personalities as well as my own. One thing my mom said to me has stuck with me since: "Out of you and your brothers, you are the most independent."
That statement threw me for a moment. While I understand how that could seem possible, since I was the first to move away and have always been comfortable being alone, I also felt that it wasn't completely true. While I may be independent in some aspects, in many ways I feel the most dependent, especially when it comes to my family. Not just my parents and siblings, but my whole family. The thought of losing any of them is hard to bear.
I've never handled change very well, and the last few years have brought much of it. Friends getting married, losing loved ones, moving to new locations, even changing jobs. While others around me have flourished and lived life, I have felt stuck in one place. That's not to say I don't enjoy my jobs. I love working at both! I just feel like the person standing at the base on one side of a mountain, wanting to take the next step by climbing to join everyone on the other side, yet still needing that push to take the first step.
Most of this may not make sense, but that's okay. I've never been the best with words. yet practice makes perfect, right?!
I was reading over my last posts, especially the most recent, trying to see how much my life has changed since then. In some areas it has, but most is still the same. Most of what I wrote in my last post still applies today, so I keep asking myself the same questions; What can I do to change things? Will I have the strength, confidence and courage to change them?
I was spending time with my parents one evening, and we were having a discussion about my brother's personalities as well as my own. One thing my mom said to me has stuck with me since: "Out of you and your brothers, you are the most independent."
That statement threw me for a moment. While I understand how that could seem possible, since I was the first to move away and have always been comfortable being alone, I also felt that it wasn't completely true. While I may be independent in some aspects, in many ways I feel the most dependent, especially when it comes to my family. Not just my parents and siblings, but my whole family. The thought of losing any of them is hard to bear.
I've never handled change very well, and the last few years have brought much of it. Friends getting married, losing loved ones, moving to new locations, even changing jobs. While others around me have flourished and lived life, I have felt stuck in one place. That's not to say I don't enjoy my jobs. I love working at both! I just feel like the person standing at the base on one side of a mountain, wanting to take the next step by climbing to join everyone on the other side, yet still needing that push to take the first step.
Most of this may not make sense, but that's okay. I've never been the best with words. yet practice makes perfect, right?!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Thoughts...Questions.....
Ok, so I know this isn't a movie review, but I've been dealing with mixed and weird feelings lately and I'm not sure how to describe or understand them. I've been told that writing them down helps to figure out what I'm trying to say.
Earlier this past week I was talking to someone at work about our social lives and it really got me thinking about mine, especially when I was asked the last time I was invited to hang out with friends. It made me feel irritated and hurt, yet at the same time guilty for feeling so selfish. I began wondering if I really am a good friend to people.
I'm not an outgoing, social butterfly. I never have been. I've always struggled with a lack of self-confidence. Sure, I've had my moments where I have put myself out there and been crazy, but most of the time I'm quiet. That's not to say I don't enjoy going out, because I always love spending time with people. Yet it seems like whenever I do want to spend time with others, I become the instigator. While I don't mind this occasionally, when it continually happens each time I want to go out I can't help but wonder if people truly get me. I may not always call when wanting to have fellowship with others, but that does not mean I am not seeking it.
I've never had the easiest time making friends, especially when that includes walking up to strangers or going to an event where I don't know anyone. And even when I have made friends, it's been a struggle to keep them. Many parts of the struggle include my desperate attempt in wanting people to like me. I either talk about myself so much that I come across as selfish and self-centered, or I constantly follow and stick to people like glue enough to have them be annoyed with me and pull away. I think part of this stems from switching schools at delicate times of my social life.
I am so grateful for the friends I have managed to keep, but some days I wonder how close I really am with them. Are we really friends or do I just cling to them so I won't be alone? I can't help but think I'm being selfish with them. Holding on to them so much that the friendship becomes one-sided; meaning I'm always the one to make time or put them first when it's rarely returned.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm working on being a good friend to those who are looking for one. It is not my intention to sound selfish or pitiful. I guess I'm trying to figure out who I really am. I may act like a leader most of the time, but that does not mean I always wish to lead.
Earlier this past week I was talking to someone at work about our social lives and it really got me thinking about mine, especially when I was asked the last time I was invited to hang out with friends. It made me feel irritated and hurt, yet at the same time guilty for feeling so selfish. I began wondering if I really am a good friend to people.
I'm not an outgoing, social butterfly. I never have been. I've always struggled with a lack of self-confidence. Sure, I've had my moments where I have put myself out there and been crazy, but most of the time I'm quiet. That's not to say I don't enjoy going out, because I always love spending time with people. Yet it seems like whenever I do want to spend time with others, I become the instigator. While I don't mind this occasionally, when it continually happens each time I want to go out I can't help but wonder if people truly get me. I may not always call when wanting to have fellowship with others, but that does not mean I am not seeking it.
I've never had the easiest time making friends, especially when that includes walking up to strangers or going to an event where I don't know anyone. And even when I have made friends, it's been a struggle to keep them. Many parts of the struggle include my desperate attempt in wanting people to like me. I either talk about myself so much that I come across as selfish and self-centered, or I constantly follow and stick to people like glue enough to have them be annoyed with me and pull away. I think part of this stems from switching schools at delicate times of my social life.
I am so grateful for the friends I have managed to keep, but some days I wonder how close I really am with them. Are we really friends or do I just cling to them so I won't be alone? I can't help but think I'm being selfish with them. Holding on to them so much that the friendship becomes one-sided; meaning I'm always the one to make time or put them first when it's rarely returned.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm working on being a good friend to those who are looking for one. It is not my intention to sound selfish or pitiful. I guess I'm trying to figure out who I really am. I may act like a leader most of the time, but that does not mean I always wish to lead.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Goonies (1985) 25th Anniversary!!!
While I'd thought about having my first blog review about a new release, I decided to join in the celebration of the 25th Anniversary of Goonies!! For any teenager or child of the 80's (or infant in my case), Goonies is one of many classic movies of that decade.
Directed by Richard Donner and starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman and Josh Brolin, The Goonies tells the story of a group of kids from the "Goon Docks" in Astoria, Oregon who find what they believe is a treasure map and embark on a crazy adventure. The concept of the story came from Steven Spielberg and was beautifully executed. From the fast-paced police chase at the beginning of the film to the swashbuckling battle for One-Eyed Willy's treasure, this film brings laughter and reminds us (especially adults) of our childhood and the imaginations we continually created.
Each character in the story brings a uniqueness and distinct personality to the group. There's Data (who comes up with wild inventions), Mouth (the "smart-mouth trickster" who tries to smooth talk his way out of trouble), Mikey (the heart of the group with a big imagination), Chunk (the blabbermouth boy who cried wolf) and Brand (Mikey's older brother who obsesses over girls and getting buff). The group was later joined by Andy (a cheerleader who crushes on Brand) and Stef (a smart-mouthed skeptic who flirtatiously clashes with Mouth).
Underneath the action, adventure and great comedic timing comes a heart-warming story of two brothers, and their friends, who go on a wild treasure hunt to save their home from being foreclosed and having to move away, all the while avoiding a family of bad guys who are also after the treasure. Despite some language and inappropriate dialogue, this is a great family film and one my family and I do enjoy watching!!!
Directed by Richard Donner and starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman and Josh Brolin, The Goonies tells the story of a group of kids from the "Goon Docks" in Astoria, Oregon who find what they believe is a treasure map and embark on a crazy adventure. The concept of the story came from Steven Spielberg and was beautifully executed. From the fast-paced police chase at the beginning of the film to the swashbuckling battle for One-Eyed Willy's treasure, this film brings laughter and reminds us (especially adults) of our childhood and the imaginations we continually created.
Each character in the story brings a uniqueness and distinct personality to the group. There's Data (who comes up with wild inventions), Mouth (the "smart-mouth trickster" who tries to smooth talk his way out of trouble), Mikey (the heart of the group with a big imagination), Chunk (the blabbermouth boy who cried wolf) and Brand (Mikey's older brother who obsesses over girls and getting buff). The group was later joined by Andy (a cheerleader who crushes on Brand) and Stef (a smart-mouthed skeptic who flirtatiously clashes with Mouth).
Underneath the action, adventure and great comedic timing comes a heart-warming story of two brothers, and their friends, who go on a wild treasure hunt to save their home from being foreclosed and having to move away, all the while avoiding a family of bad guys who are also after the treasure. Despite some language and inappropriate dialogue, this is a great family film and one my family and I do enjoy watching!!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My Top Ten Favorite Movies
Hey All!! It's been so long since I've written here. My life has been pretty hectic. First I'd like to share my new Amazon.com Store site. http://astore.amazon.com/kimberly-20. Please check it out, send me feedback (if any) or any comments you may have. So, believe it or not my laptop hard-drive died and I lost the reviews I'd written for this blog, so until I can rewrite and post one, I thought I'd share my current top ten favorite movies...
10. Spaceballs
I just had to include one of Mel Brooks' satires! This one is one of my favorites of his, along with Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Movies that make fun of classics are always enjoyable!!
9. Forest Gump
"Life is like a box of chocolates....." To me, this is one of Tom Hanks' greatest roles ever! There are so many memorable lines and characters.
8. Rudy
While I was not born when this first came out, once I did see it I was hooked. I'm a sucker for inspirational stories and this definitely fits!
7. The Mighty Ducks
Who could forget the crazy bunch of kids who quack before each hockey game! I love all three of the films that came from this series. And yes, it's inspirational too!!!
6. Gladiator
Probably my favorite Russell Crowe movie ever! I think stories where the hero ends up killed are so much more powerful and inspiring! It shows you how much impact that person had on others.
5. The Patriot
I love period pieces. Especially during Colonial America. In a way, it's a visual sense of how much America has changed both in how the country is governed and how cities were born.
4. Harry Potter
Yes there is magic, wizardry and witchcraft in these movies (and books which the movies are based on), but underneath it all is a young boy trying to find out who he is while fighting for his life, and discovering his true purpose.
3. That Thing You Do
One Hit Wonders!!....Or should I say Oneders!! This movie is a favorite in my family. We always enjoy watching it together!!
2. New Moon
While I did love Twilight, I actually thought this movie was better. I have always loved the character of Jacob, and this movie really made me love him even more. He always tries to do the right thing and be a good friend, even if it hurts him or endangers others.
And my number one movie is......
1. Lord of the Rings
Anyone who knows me would not be shocked that this is my number one. The three Lord of the Rings movies are my absolute favorites, and the biggest inspirations for me to pursue film in school. I still watch them, especially with cast commentary (It's so funny!!), whenever I have time.
So these are my top ten favorite movies.....I'd love to hear other top ten favorites!! Especially why they have made the list!!
10. Spaceballs
I just had to include one of Mel Brooks' satires! This one is one of my favorites of his, along with Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Movies that make fun of classics are always enjoyable!!
9. Forest Gump
"Life is like a box of chocolates....." To me, this is one of Tom Hanks' greatest roles ever! There are so many memorable lines and characters.
8. Rudy
While I was not born when this first came out, once I did see it I was hooked. I'm a sucker for inspirational stories and this definitely fits!
7. The Mighty Ducks
Who could forget the crazy bunch of kids who quack before each hockey game! I love all three of the films that came from this series. And yes, it's inspirational too!!!
6. Gladiator
Probably my favorite Russell Crowe movie ever! I think stories where the hero ends up killed are so much more powerful and inspiring! It shows you how much impact that person had on others.
5. The Patriot
I love period pieces. Especially during Colonial America. In a way, it's a visual sense of how much America has changed both in how the country is governed and how cities were born.
4. Harry Potter
Yes there is magic, wizardry and witchcraft in these movies (and books which the movies are based on), but underneath it all is a young boy trying to find out who he is while fighting for his life, and discovering his true purpose.
3. That Thing You Do
One Hit Wonders!!....Or should I say Oneders!! This movie is a favorite in my family. We always enjoy watching it together!!
2. New Moon
While I did love Twilight, I actually thought this movie was better. I have always loved the character of Jacob, and this movie really made me love him even more. He always tries to do the right thing and be a good friend, even if it hurts him or endangers others.
And my number one movie is......
1. Lord of the Rings
Anyone who knows me would not be shocked that this is my number one. The three Lord of the Rings movies are my absolute favorites, and the biggest inspirations for me to pursue film in school. I still watch them, especially with cast commentary (It's so funny!!), whenever I have time.
So these are my top ten favorite movies.....I'd love to hear other top ten favorites!! Especially why they have made the list!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
My Bucket List
Ok, so I know I said that I would mainly be posting about movies, but I still haven't quite finished my first one. For this post, I thought I would share The Bucket List (or for those who never saw that movie, the list of things to do before I die) I created for myself. Most of them are places I want to see or go to. At this point, I only have about 26 and they are not in any particular order, but I'm planning to keep adding to it.
1. Machu Picchu (Peru)
2. The Matterhorn (Switzerland)
3. Cliffs of Moher (Ireland)
4. Great Wall of China
5. Make my own movie
6. Andes Mountains
7. Hike the Sierra Nevada back country
8. As many castles in Europe as possible
9. Enns, Austria
10. Edit a feature film
11. Nazareth
12. Colosseum
13. Stonehenge
14. Attend the Oscars
15. Notre Dame
16. Louvre
17. Aurora Borealis
18. Parthenon
19. Meet Martin Scorsese
20. Mount Olympus
21. Hike the John Muir Trail (or as much of it as I can)
22. Swiss Alps
23. Glasgow and Edinburgh, Scotland
24. Germany (my heritage)
25. Write a song
26. Great Pyramids of Giza
1. Machu Picchu (Peru)
2. The Matterhorn (Switzerland)
3. Cliffs of Moher (Ireland)
4. Great Wall of China
5. Make my own movie
6. Andes Mountains
7. Hike the Sierra Nevada back country
8. As many castles in Europe as possible
9. Enns, Austria
10. Edit a feature film
11. Nazareth
12. Colosseum
13. Stonehenge
14. Attend the Oscars
15. Notre Dame
16. Louvre
17. Aurora Borealis
18. Parthenon
19. Meet Martin Scorsese
20. Mount Olympus
21. Hike the John Muir Trail (or as much of it as I can)
22. Swiss Alps
23. Glasgow and Edinburgh, Scotland
24. Germany (my heritage)
25. Write a song
26. Great Pyramids of Giza
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